If the throttle return spring (TRS) is too much, what if you removed the TRS from where it attaches to the throttle body? Then put a return spring on the gas pedal itself. If the gas pedal cable is stiff enough it should push the throttle closed when you release your foot.
Now rig your hand throttle cable with a chain as suggested above. The hand throttle friction/lock would not have to fight the TRS tension. It's simple and stupid but if it works, it may not be so stupid.
If you want high-tech, put a clutch from an A/C compressor directly on the throttle pulley-like thing:
- Clutch-engaged = throttle lock system set.
- Clutch-disengaged = system works normally.
- Add solid-state or relay logic to latch the clutch with a push button and disengage it with switches (on gas pedal, brake, clutch pedal, hand brake, etc.). Maybe. Or not.