Parenting help needed....kinda.

[Jay2TheRescue]

Originally Posted by maximilian

If you're tall enough and reasonably healthy, you could look into becoming a sperm donor.

I have seriously considered it before... I'm 6'4" so height shouldn't be an issue.

[GasSavers_maximilian]

I am just above the desired minimum (apparently 5'11") and I am also considering it. At 6'4", they'd love you!

[jadziasman]

"I try all these things, but I can't seem to get anywhere. Nothing makes me want to be a father. Help!"

And nothing will "make" you want to become one.

I once told my father (when I was 22) that he hadn't accomplished anything great in his life. At the time, he had four children ranging in age from 12 to 22. His response puzzled me - he just smiled and didn't say anything and gave me a hug too. That was nearly 30 years ago.

Having been a parent myself for 10 years, I now understand why he reacted that way. Raising children is very difficult in time, money, frustration, worry, etc. They are completely, utterly dependent on you for a very long time. And - if you've raised them properly and with a little luck, they will eventually succeed on their own without your continued support. Raising children is for most people the greatest accomplishment of their lives.

[GasSavers_maximilian]

If that's their only accomplishment, seems like it's just passing the buck.

[theclencher]

Raising children is for most people the greatest accomplishment of their lives.

Sounds pathetic.

[theclencher]

http://forums.treehugger.com/viewtop...1841&start=210

[FrugalFloyd]

Going back to the OP's first post. If you don't want to, don't. But it does seem like you're asking us to help you change your mind. Not sure what you could see in an emessage that would tip the scales. What are you looking for? Tales of happiness? Pride in our children? We could give you plenty of that, but it still comes back to you and your wife making your own personal decision. If you promised her, that may be reason enough.

You can already see the rest of us have made our own choices, for our own reasons. They're all valid, but it's likely none of them fit your situation well. Good luck in making this difficult choice.

[Jay2TheRescue]

Without a child, who will you pass the Buick on to?

[shatto]

Simple answer comes from Dr. Laura.
'NO' wins.

Neither person should be forced to do something they do not want to do.

So, if one desperately wants a family and the other doesn't.....
someone needs to be set free to follow that dream.

[theholycow]

Originally Posted by SentraSE-R

Going back to the OP's first post. If you don't want to, don't. But it does seem like you're asking us to help you change your mind.

That's exactly it. I want to feel differently about it.

Not sure what you could see in an emessage that would tip the scales. What are you looking for? Tales of happiness? Pride in our children?

I don't know. I guess maybe those things could help.

If you promised her, that may be reason enough.

That's a valid point, I think. I am a man of my word, and I did promise her. I even promised myself. I think there's a decent chance that I'll come around once I'm actually fathering. I know for sure that I'll do a good job of it. I'm just trying to get into it beforehand...it's important to make the choice because it's what I want.

You can already see the rest of us have made our own choices, for our own reasons. They're all valid, but it's likely none of them fit your situation well. Good luck in making this difficult choice.

I compare my problem to the idea I used to have that I, like most other people, would automatically want to by now. I see that I am not like most other people after all; and I worry that I might not be like most of the rest of the other people who felt like I do now before but then came around after they had kids. However, I posted this same thread on another forum with a lot more parents on it, and I haven't heard a single report of a parent who regrets being a parent. Not one.